It’s that time of the year where smooth faced men transform into grizzly woodcutters as beards and moustaches begin sprouting in celebration of MOVEMBER, which is all about bringing awareness to prostate cancer in Men.
While these brave men anxiously compare their increasing beard sizes each day, some thought must be given to the partners of these newly bearded pioneers, for they are the ones who have to bear the brunt of the burgeoning prickly whiskers.
Stu Jordan, executive chocolatier for Kako Chocolate has some excellent tips for surviving MOVEMBER! His five essential MOVEMBER survival tips are:
- Beard Rash. When you snuggle up to a newly bearded guy, you are going to experience some beard rash. The solution is to rub a soothing salted caramel into your mouth. Because there is no way you are kissing those prickly whiskers, right?!
- Being seen in public with someone who no longer looks like your partner. By eating at least two pieces of DARK chocolate, this won’t bother you at all – even when friends think you are misbehaving with another man.
- Declining intimacy levels because of the crazy explosion of unkempt facial hair. Eating at least two handfuls of chocolate will ensure your body absorbs the flavonoids & antioxidants, raising your mood & bringing equilibrium back to your happy place.
- Alone time. He is going to spend significantly more time in the bathroom gazing into the mirror, proudly examining the tufts growing out of his face. Make good use of this alone time to enjoy your favourite chocolate in peace and quiet.
- The man-baby. At the end of the month, he will reluctantly shave his masterpiece off and revert to his original form. To assist with the transition, we recommend you double down on your chocolate consumption. The raised serotonin levels will protect you from the shock of waking up beside a man-baby at the end of the month.
Asked if he would be growing a beard this MOVEMBER, Stu said “While I am a touch envious of those who can sprout a whiskered work of art, I will instead be focusing on survival kits for the partners of the newly bearded, as they are the ones overlooked and neglected during MOVEMBER.”
More MOVEMBER survival tips will be released over the coming weeks via his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/nzchocolate.